Pokey Coffee Mug

Introducing the Pokey Battle Mug!
The ONLY mug officially sanctioned by the League of 8 Bit Computers (LO8BC) and brewed at light speed by Gamma Epsilon Coagy — the finest pixel-brewery in the known universe! 🚀🎨

Inside your trusty Atari 800XL lives Pokey, the bravest, slightly-overcaffeinated AI entity ever wedged into a motherboard. His mission?
Defeat the evil Miss DOS and her HORDE of identical, grumpy clone minions before they can turn all of cyberspace into a beige wasteland of error messages and floppy disk formatting screens.

🏆 Features of This Legendary Mug Include:

Hand-forged in the fiery cores of discarded dot-matrix printers!

11 ounces of pure, unstoppable liquid energy containment!

Secret Pokey-coded battle plans (probably) embedded in the glaze!

Dishwasher/microwave safe because Gamma Epsilon Coagy believes in SCIENCE.

🕹️ When you sip from the Pokey Mug, you’re not just drinking coffee.
You’re uploading bravery, downloading glory, and buffering complete, unfiltered absurdity into your day.
(Side effects may include spontaneous 8-bit sound effects and a dramatic urge to shout “BYTES AWAY!”)

⚡ WARNING:
Prolonged exposure to Pokey may cause you to believe you can defeat evil operating systems with a bent paperclip and a fierce stare. Use responsibly.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS:

Processor: 1 PokeyCore™ Artificial Heroism Unit

RAM: 16 Sips/Second

Power Supply: Black Coffee, Hot Cocoa, Liquid Determination

Max Capacity: 11oz (Expandable with DLC: Downloadable Coffee Liquids)

Chassis: Reinforced Ceramite, Level 5 Anti-Clone Glaze™

Sound Output: Random 8-bit victory jingles (if you listen hard enough)

Cooling System: Evaporative (also known as "taking too long to drink it")

INCLUDED WITH PURCHASE:

Mug (obviously)

BACKSTORY:
Forged during the Great Diskette Rebellion of 1983½, the Pokey Battle Mug contains micro-residues of actual Gamma Epsilon Coagy battle vapor. Each sip draws strength from ancient 8-bit magic, long believed lost when the final arcade token was spent.

Drink deep. Sip valiantly.

FOR POKEY. FOR THE 800XL. FOR THE FUTURE OF FREEWARE!

☕ Order yours today — supplies are limited to the number of mugs Pokey didn’t accidentally send through a wormhole! ☕